I really like your story; it feels like the sort of delightful 'merrie melodies' stuff that used to enchant me as a nipper! :)
So - some things to consider structurally. I think you need to establish the importance of the nest to the chicken first and foremost; which means beginning your story with the idea of the jokeshop that comes alive after it closes. So, you establish the exterior of the jokeshop; perhaps so the sign outside being switched off so you accomplish 2 things at once - establish the shop and establish the time of day. You know, in terms of art direction, I was thinking that if your joke-shop was set in a sort of 50's Blackpool, you could have the coloured light from the illuminations streaming in through the window into the closed shop, thus creating opportunities for some great Disney-esque expressionistic lighting effects:
Anyway, yes - you need to establish the chicken's bond with her eggs (and obviously rubber chickens can't lay eggs, so maybe she's got substitutes in there? Like bouncy balls + wooden toys similar to these?
The point is they are her 'family' - and we learn very quickly that she loves them and they're important. Now, when in the next scene, she is brought down from the top shelf and left there, the audience understand absolutely her need to get back up to the top shelf. I can really see how you could make wonderful use of forced perspective etc. to make this quest to return to the top-shelf seem pretty epic - like Everest. The whoopee-cushion scene made me smile - can't wait to hear the soundtrack for that moment! :)
What's wonderful about this set-up is the opportunity for some great character design and some great environment work too. Don't be afraid to stylise either; this isn't a real world scenario, so don't feel you have to compete; what's important is getting the feel right and creating a believable and consistent world. Have lots of fun with this, Megan - it's a gift, so enjoy yourself. I want to see you making a much bigger splash over the next few weeks (oh, and be sure to catch up with the film screenings you've missed, as I think you'll get a lot out of the Hitchcock stuff). I've got copies of the DVDs in the office, so come and find me and I'll give them to you.
OGR 24/01/2013
ReplyDeleteHey Megan,
I really like your story; it feels like the sort of delightful 'merrie melodies' stuff that used to enchant me as a nipper! :)
So - some things to consider structurally. I think you need to establish the importance of the nest to the chicken first and foremost; which means beginning your story with the idea of the jokeshop that comes alive after it closes. So, you establish the exterior of the jokeshop; perhaps so the sign outside being switched off so you accomplish 2 things at once - establish the shop and establish the time of day. You know, in terms of art direction, I was thinking that if your joke-shop was set in a sort of 50's Blackpool, you could have the coloured light from the illuminations streaming in through the window into the closed shop, thus creating opportunities for some great Disney-esque expressionistic lighting effects:
http://www.assetstorage.co.uk/AssetStorageService.svc/GetImageFriendly/721243021/700/700/0/0/1/80/ResizeBestFit/0/PressAssociation/DCD0268400F111F08C1A4AB5FB4D75FD/blackpool-illuminations.jpg
http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4138/4868824048_5f19589efb_z.jpg
Anyway, yes - you need to establish the chicken's bond with her eggs (and obviously rubber chickens can't lay eggs, so maybe she's got substitutes in there? Like bouncy balls + wooden toys similar to these?
http://www.dawnuniques.co.uk/ebay-images/16-YX574BX-D.jpg
As long as you've something in there that 'signfies' egg, you're not in breach of your three components. However, having said that, look!
http://compare.ebay.co.uk/like/281054989153?var=lv<yp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar&adtype=pla&crdt=0
The point is they are her 'family' - and we learn very quickly that she loves them and they're important. Now, when in the next scene, she is brought down from the top shelf and left there, the audience understand absolutely her need to get back up to the top shelf. I can really see how you could make wonderful use of forced perspective etc. to make this quest to return to the top-shelf seem pretty epic - like Everest. The whoopee-cushion scene made me smile - can't wait to hear the soundtrack for that moment! :)
What's wonderful about this set-up is the opportunity for some great character design and some great environment work too. Don't be afraid to stylise either; this isn't a real world scenario, so don't feel you have to compete; what's important is getting the feel right and creating a believable and consistent world. Have lots of fun with this, Megan - it's a gift, so enjoy yourself. I want to see you making a much bigger splash over the next few weeks (oh, and be sure to catch up with the film screenings you've missed, as I think you'll get a lot out of the Hitchcock stuff). I've got copies of the DVDs in the office, so come and find me and I'll give them to you.
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