In terms of your story, I honestly think that the first revision was strong, because your character just wants to be loved, and the idea of him being in the bargain bin and envying the other toys - and then finding a home just when we think all is lost - just seems very satisfying - clear goal, clear resolution. The chicken is defined by its wish to be part of a family (it is an egg-layer!) and then it gets that in the final reel. I think because there is something comical and inelegant about your character (loveable but clumsy/hapless - think Bridget Jones!), the toys it envies should be her/his opposite - so conventionally cool and glamorous - and maybe spiteful? For example, if the toy(s) on the 'star toy' shelf are snooty, maybe it's one of the other toys that pushes the rubber chicken off the pedestal (you don't belong with the likes of us!) and it's because of that action, that the chicken gets a loving owner. Think of all those little girl racers in Wreck-It Ralph, who gang up on 'the glitch'. Think 'Miranda' too in terms of the characterisation of your rubber chicken, and maybe think about your story as being a quest for the gawky kid to be 'in' with the cheerleaders/queen bees - in essence, you want your audience to love this chicken of yours, for our hearts to stop when it looks as if all is lost, and then for us to punch the air when it turns out that the rubber chicken is loved by someone after all.
also - I didn't see you for your Dissertation tutorial this week: could you send me your paragraph by paragraph outline structure per chapter for me to take a look at - it's a really useful, clarifying exercise. Thanks.
Hey Megan,
ReplyDeleteIn terms of your story, I honestly think that the first revision was strong, because your character just wants to be loved, and the idea of him being in the bargain bin and envying the other toys - and then finding a home just when we think all is lost - just seems very satisfying - clear goal, clear resolution. The chicken is defined by its wish to be part of a family (it is an egg-layer!) and then it gets that in the final reel. I think because there is something comical and inelegant about your character (loveable but clumsy/hapless - think Bridget Jones!), the toys it envies should be her/his opposite - so conventionally cool and glamorous - and maybe spiteful? For example, if the toy(s) on the 'star toy' shelf are snooty, maybe it's one of the other toys that pushes the rubber chicken off the pedestal (you don't belong with the likes of us!) and it's because of that action, that the chicken gets a loving owner. Think of all those little girl racers in Wreck-It Ralph, who gang up on 'the glitch'. Think 'Miranda' too in terms of the characterisation of your rubber chicken, and maybe think about your story as being a quest for the gawky kid to be 'in' with the cheerleaders/queen bees - in essence, you want your audience to love this chicken of yours, for our hearts to stop when it looks as if all is lost, and then for us to punch the air when it turns out that the rubber chicken is loved by someone after all.
also - I didn't see you for your Dissertation tutorial this week: could you send me your paragraph by paragraph outline structure per chapter for me to take a look at - it's a really useful, clarifying exercise. Thanks.
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